Domestic Violence

Today I walked through school quad, looking at shirts. These weren't just random shirts, they each had messages on them. They ranging from "I am a product of my mother rape...I wonder if she wish I wasn't here" to " I fucking hate you, why did you do this". The words on those shirts came to life and screamed for the world to notice. Look at each one almost made me share a few tears of my own.
I, like so many people, know the pain of domestic abuse. I know the fear of living in a house that felt far from a home. I remember my father beating my mother, I remember the screaming, the broken glass, my mother in the hospital. I grew up in a house where it was a royal rumble just about everyday. The sound of my father's truck approaching the house was enough to put me and my siblings on our toes. Making sure everything was perfect.
I developed nervous habits like biting my nails, and never speaking up. I was always anxious, and rarely happy...mostly scared. It wasn't until I was 7 or so when my mom called the police to put an end to the physical abuse.
But the verbal kept going..and my father still had his moments. I remember laughing in my room with my cousins, apparently I was laughing to loud. My father came into my room pulled me by my arm and swung me against the wall, telling me that I need to shut up because he didn't want to have to hurt me. I laid on the floor and cried, looking at my mother for security, but she walked into the garage and continued doing laundry. Then my cousins asked to be taken home.
I knew why my mom didn't do anything, she was still scared. Eventually she stopped sleeping in the same room with him because she feared for her life. So we slept in the last room together with the doors locked.
When my parents finally split the verbal abuse didn't stop. During those times of stress, my mom took it out on me. Blamed me for a lot things. Saying she stayed in a bad marriage because of me. I felt like she hated me, and I hated my father.
But like the saying go, time heals wounds. I have had conversations with both my mom and father( I know call him DAD). I have been able to rebuild relationships with both of them, although I've always been closer to my mom. Now me and my dad are traveling a new path. Going through the emotional rollercoaster was crazy. It took away the innocence of my childhood. However I stand strong today because I refuse to let my past break me down. Some of those life lessons were learned to early, but it is exactly why I am so mature now. When I look at my older brothers and sister, I see how our childhood as affected all of us.
It wasn't until the fall of 2006 that my mom realized how much I had remembered. So this is my message, there is more to just recognizing that Domestic Violence is wrong. It has to stop! Don't condemn the woman who stays in it, support her and help her realize she is strong enough to make it out. Don't sit back and ignore it when you hear a friend talk about knocking the significant other upside the head. Especially when there are children involved, we remember everything. But not all of us is able to grow through the pain.
The shirts I read today hit really close to home, but I'm not sitting back doing nothing. Me and the other members of our organization are collecting clothes and toiletries for women and children in shelters. And tomorrow, as the fair continues, I am doing my part.