Response to Torrance Stephens

My comment was getting a tad bit to long.
From my point of view, age is equivalent to where someone is at in life. I understand that it is a concept that cannot be applied to everyone. However, I mentioned that I wanted to be able to grow with someone around my own age, who is walking my same path (being a college student and making their own decisions in life).Someone who is possibly 26 may have a different mindset,they have already established themselves and could be ready for the family life (I am not saying all individuals feel this way by 26). At the same time, someone who is 18 may have just gotten their chance of true independence and wants to go buck wild. And the last thing on their mind is a committed relationship (once again, I am not saying all 18 year olds feel this way).
At certain ages, people are generally going through certain stages in life and viewing things in a different light. When I look back at my past and see some of my past accomplishments, like learning to ride a bike, they do not seem as great as they did then. And I wonder if I date some one older, would they feel the same way about the current things that I am doing. Would they look at my accomplishments now and kind of dismiss them because it is no "big deal" since it is something everyone generally goes through in life.
Likewise, when I am around guys my own age, some just truly irritate me. Some are unable to communicate, step out side of themselves, or be mature. For example, I called an ex who I am still cool with to wish him a happy birthday. I figured he would be in class (since he is still in high school) but he answered his phone. I just wanted to wish him a happy birthday and call it a day, but out of no where, " Man there are two girls in front of me, and one is sitting on the others lap and they look like they like each other." I looked at my phone wondering, and thought to myself what was the purpose of him saying that. He giggled about it, and I quickly ended the conversation.
I am not saying age is everything, but I feel like it plays a role. If you put a group of men in the room varying in ages, you will see a difference in behaviors and manners. Those around the same age would have similar behaviors, It is not to say that age will soley be the cause of it, but it will be a variable. And it would be the same thing with women.
All I am say, Torrance, is that there are some qualities that are attributed to age.

Older vs Young

I have always preferred to date men around my own age, ranging between my current age or less than 2 years older. The idea of having a boyfriend who was also experiencing the same introductions to life as I was, would be "wonderful". We could be there for one another when we stressed over finals, papers, and projects. Talk about career plans after graduation. Enjoy collegian activities such as student art shows, drama performances, and poetry nights. Being able to discuss life issues, voicing opinions and ideas. I wanted to be in a relationship with a young man, who's goals and ambitions rivaled mine. I wanted to be able to look into his eyes, and see the hunger for life and success, but also the knowledge of knowing the hard work he would have to contribute.
What I seem to often come across, are the boys, who are hungry for something else. Yes they are in college, but there maturity is that of a freshmen in high school instead of a freshmen in college. The other day I was talking to friend, and she mentioned that she wanted a young intellectual brother who was not on the USC football team. Our eavesdropping boss then responded, "you attended the wrong school if you thought that is what you would find here(USC)." Many of the young black men my age are far from wanting to get into a serious relationship.
I for one, am not a fan of getting into meaningless relationships. I've had my "fun", and would prefer something stable. A relationship, where a solid foundation can be built.
The bragging about what he has, how much he has, and all the other glitz and bling used to attract some other people don't work for me. Is it so hard to approach me and ask me what my name is and how my day was as opposed to " Aye ma, let me holla atcha for a minute." Or looking at everything else but my eyes.
I have discussed my issue with my older sister, and some women (who are in their late 20's to early 30's) that I work with. Many of them have asked why I haven't tried dating older guys, possibly mid 20's. Well I guess apart of me would fear that an older guy would feel the need to be more of a "mentor" instead of a man that I am in a relationship with. I'm worried that my opinions would be undermined due to my age, or he would feel the need to lead me down the right path.
At the same time, I feel that I would be able to have the intellectual balance committed relationship that I strive for. My Sis had told me, that the "right" older man would see me beyond my age and realize the kind of individual I am.
The dating world is truly complicated, when it shouldn't be.

Random Ranting

I didn't want to make two blog posts on the same day...So I am combining my train of thoughts.

MY HAIR:

So I was walking through the Santa Monica Pier. The sun was kissing my skin, the breeze was cooling my body, and the ocean was relaxing my mind. I had on, black slip on shoes, a cute orange/pink skirt, a beige tank, and a one of the shirts that has hoodie. I was tanking myself out on a date, and enjoying myself. Then a group of black females who were walking past me looked at me, and one said, “oh no..naps!” Since I don’t like drama, I just kept walking. It didn’t make sense to have a confrontation over hair. But I will admit that I was very much irritated by the unnecessary antagonistic behavior by my fellow sistahs. Was it necessary to criticize me because I choose not to straighten my hair and wear it curly? No! Anyway those comments did not become life changing, I still have my hair nice and curly… and that day I continued walking and enjoying my date.

Curly

Blow Dry:

Straight:

Braided:



I am not my hair..it is an extention of my personality and style.


MY "LOVE" LIFE

I am slowly but surely getting into the mix of actually conversing with guys who may be prospective. I just want to know more about them. I am finishing up the spring semester in May, so my school life will not be so hectic and stressful, basically making time to actually date people besides myself. I took myself out of the dating pool in January, and I might jump back in, in May. I shall see...

Time-line

Believe it or not I have a time-line. No it isn't just not any ol' time-line, its one that represents where I want to be in life by a certain point. Many will think that I am crazy for planning out things, but I feel like it is my motivation. I can only accomplish certain goals through a series of steps. If i set long term goals, I could then follow them up with short term goals. I feel like it is a process best beneficial to me. So out of pure enjoyment I would like to post that time line on my blog.

• 18-22: An undergraduate Nursing student at MSMC, where I will earn my BSN and become a licensed RN.
  

Possibly meet someone worth while and be on the road to a long term relationship
Establish GREAT credit

• 22-24 Possibly join the Navy as an officer to pay for my MSN program to become a Pediatric Nurse Practitioner or find a hospital that will to pay for my school.
  

Get a 1bedroom condo, and a practically new used car
Hopefully Mr. Longterm relationship become Mr. Fiance..if not..o well

• 24-28 If I go the military route, then I would spend four or plus year working with military families in San Diego, payoff loans, and travel periodically.

I would like to get married around 24/25..have one child by the time I'm 28.
Get a house and rent my condo.

• 24-28 If i do the hospital route, then I would stay in the greater Los Angeles area, and hopefully work at a facility that specializes in pediatrics.

same examples above will apply here.

• 24-28 The military thing didn't work out,if I can't find a hospital to pay for my schooling, well I will work 3 days out of the week in the hospital, work on my Masters, and possibly balance another job that isn't too tedious, like a blood donations center, while incurring more loans..lol

hopefully marriage will still be in the air but possible a little later in my 20's, but a house would not be in the picture right away nor will children.

• 28-32 Stable position in a hospital as a Pediatric Nurse Practitioner. Be an active member in the organizations that have helped me reach my goals. If I went the military route, I would most likely be in San Diego.
  

I want to make sure I own a home by 30, while still renting out that condo. ( if the military is in the picture, I can get housing allowance, which will make it easier to have rental property)
Save money for the children's future education, I only want two by the time I'm 32. If I don't have kids... see the next time segment.

• 32-...... Continue working as a Pediatric Nurse Practitioner, then towards my late 40's, get a second job as a Nursing Professor. I want to rebuild a house in Belize, make it a vacation home and what not. The details for this time period isn't too detailed.

If I don't have my own kids for what ever reason, then I will adopt in my late 30's early 40's.
I would like to retire from Nursing at 65...
Move back to Belize, and rent what ever property I have out here in the U.S.A ( Hopefully my husband would be ok with the whole moving to Belize part)
....I think thats it



I had a writers mood swing towards the end so I stopped being so detailed..lol..anyway the plans above are not written in stone..more like on paper with a pencil that could easily be changed if necessary. And, I do have a few back up plans... :-D