Friday, September 19, 2008

Men with woman like tendencies

What is really going on these days! My goodness, have we reached a point where Men have become a bit more feminine.
In a relationship, I'm chill. I'm not all over my boyfriend like where you at, where you been, where you going..lol. It's more of, you are your own person capable of making good decisions, if you choose otherwise, be prepared to face the consequences.
Having two older brothers and a tomboy older sister, I can be very nonchalant about things. Certain stuff that would bother others isn't an issue with me. If my boyfriend wants to go hang with the boys and watch strippers, go'head, just don't cross the line..ie..receiving hand jobs, bj, giving oral, sex..and such and such. If a girl passes in front us, go ahead and look (not stare), its human nature. Of course, it is only fair that I am able to do the same. I used to be big on being called everyday, but now, not so much..maybe because I got more to do these days. But if he doesn't call, then I'll call him. It really isn't a big deal. My male friends enjoy talking to me because I'm chill, but can also offer good advice as to why their girlfriend is upset with them. See, I may get irritated about somethings a guy would do, but I think about. Why does it upset me, is it a big deal, if not I let it go, if it is..I speak my mind..just that simple.
But man, these guys these days..smh..I'm wondering what is really going on. I was kicking it with male friend the other day. We were talking about relationships and what not. He was saying how he used to have issues with his girl because she wasn't jealous enough. WTF?!!! Thats stuff girls say, oh I dont think my man cares because he doesn't get jealous. But here I was listening to my 22 year old friend say, "I didn't think she cared because she wouldn't get jealous....a girl would stare me down and say hey sexy, and my girlfriend wouldn't even react". I was looking at him in utter disbelief. Like what did you want your girl to do..say "ah hell nah, betta stop looking at my man!" He looked at me, and said "YES!"(oh, wow, smh) And he went on to say how if she doesn't call him or always says she will call him back, he feels like she doesn't want him. I stood their listening to this craziness. Thinking, this is stuff I expect to hear from a female. Why does this boy need so much attention?
So then I went on to tell him how I don't trip, here is the convo.
Me: Im not really the jealous type, and I give my boyfriend space.
friend: when was the last time you talk to him
me: yesterday
friend: who called who
me: he called me
Friend: why haven't you called him today
Me: because I talked to him for hrs yesterday, I didn't think it was necessary to call today
Friend: you should call him, it shows you care, he's probably waiting on you to call
Me: I was gonna hit him up tomorrow
Friend: No call him when you get on campus. My girl used to not call and it would irritate me. Then I would call her and be like oh I'm going out, and she would just say ok like she didn't care.
Me: maybe she did care, and just didn't make a big deal
Friend: I want her to make a big deal....

I was like, wow, this is a mess. But I took my friends advice and called my boyfriend, who enthusiastically got happy because I called him. I didn't want to completely deem this as woman like behavior. Then he asked " baby who all have you told that you are in a relationship, what did you say, what did they say?"
I looked at my phone crooked and few thoughts ran through my mind. Why is all that necessary. Who cares what people say.Which bring about other questions like,why is it that you compare yourself to other guys all the time, why do you think I need to wear a "promise ring" to show I am taken. I want to just tell him to man up sometimes. My roommate put a wager down saying that my boyfriend will profess his love by the time we reach our one month. I hope not, I'm trying to take it slow..there is no need to rush.
But there is an epidemic, a lot young ladies I know are running into these guys that act like overly sensitive women.
These guys fall in love after 2 weeks! Then goes on a fit about feeling used..lol...and heartbroken!
Can someone please tell them to take the panties off and put their boxers back on!
ASIDE: Its a beautiful thing to be a woman, how ever, I do not want my man to act like one. I believe I can hold down the "woman" position in the relationship all by myself.
End of aside.


Top Ten Signs your man has female tendencies

  1. He calls you in a fit, because you haven't called him
  2. He gets mad when you don't get jealous, and walks around with a bad attitude until you ask him what wrong or you can telepathically figure it out.
  3. He wants to know how everyone you know feels about him
  4. He compares himself to every guy
  5. Always goes into full detail about what outfit he's going to where when he has plan to see you..so what if your dark blue sean john jeans have baby blue stitch marks that match your DC baby blue hat. Just make sure you are and look clean, and wear close that fit.
  6. Quizzes you on stuff like, what time of day did I ask you out, what time did we have our first kiss, hug, smile..etc or all his favorite things.
  7. Feelings get super butt hurt because you are going out with the girls and not spending time with him...( Damn didn't I just see you yesterday)
  8. Needs your complete attention and eye contact when he talks to you
  9. Wants to know why he isn't in the number one space on Myspace and Facebook
  10. already heads over heels in love, and it hasn't event been a month and added his last name to your first name to see what it sounds like.
Now my boyfriend doesn't exhibit all of these, I had to reach out to other resources to make this list. Please feel free to add on.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Miss Independent

I must say, I am seriously feeling Ne-yo's new song. It was first introduced to it by my boyfriend, who decided to make it my assigned ringtone. After I listened to it on imeem.com, I knew this song had to be one of my anthems.
As of now, the title will be Junior Miss. Independent, since I am a full time college student (NURSING MAJOR WOOT WOOT) and still need assistance in paying for education(thanks mom). As you may have read before, I am definitely a young lady who stays on top of her ish. I have 2 and a half jobs (job 1= Associate in Admissions office, job 2= tutor{math, english, and science}, job 1/2= seasonal price changer at Macy's) , I am Coordinator of the tour guide program, President of African American Council of Women, Sophomore Nursing Student Representative, and Member of the California Nursing Student Association. With all of that, I manage to study, pay my bills, socialize, and hang with my friends and boyfriend( or at least talk to them).
I do all of that because it makes me feel good to be busy, to have a lot to do. I work under pressure, pressure keeps me motivated. So when I have a plethora of things to do, I buckle down and get it done. Which is one of the main reasons I haven't been blogging much. I love being behind the wheel of my own destiny, and taking hold of my present and future.
These days I pay special attention to who I let in my life, or back into my life. As of recently, a few people I told to hit the road, are trying to rekindle a friendship. I'm still debating, and I'm definitely leaning towards NOT rebuilding a friendship. I realize, once a door has been closed, it needs to stay closed. I like to keep moving forward, sometimes I look back, but I don't stop to stare, I gotta make moves.
Now my boyfriend is doing an ok job at handling me and my schedule. I hear the "you're spreading yourself too thin" or the "you don't have much time for me" spiels. Generally this happens when he is trying to hang out, and I'm looking at my schedule realizing I don't have the time. I think he's just not busy enough. He's taking the semester off, and works one job. So when he has a day off he has nothing to do. However, when I have a day off, I still have other things scheduled. I let him know all of this before we got into a relationship, and considering it's still new, I am not going to alter my entire schedule. I will make time, but nothing drastic. If we are still together come 3-6 months, than I might leave special time just for him, as long as it doesn't conflict with school and work.
ASIDE: reading that last sentence made me sound like a woman who would put her career before her home. Right now, I'm young (19) and I need to reach my goals. So a relationship isn't the top of my priorities. It is somewhere on the list, but definitely not the top 10. After 23-24when I have my Masters, then my priorities will undergo construction. Right now, he'll just have to work his way up the ladder, and I hope its the same circumstances for him. I definitely do not think I need to be the top of his priorities right now. Maybe I need to have a conversation about this to make sure we are on the same page.....
End of Aside

My lovely mother enjoys seeing the person I am blossoming into, it chokes her up when she talks about it. Especially this year, I noticed an increase in her emotional responses when I go home and leave. Its the realization that her baby is really doing big things all by herself. After saving up some money, I bought my mom a necklace with a message engraved into it. The words basically read that she has raised me well, and now she must trust to let me go free and prosper. When she looks at me, I can see how proud she is of me, and it makes me feel so good. I love making her proud, and I'm glad its through doing something I want to do. I must say, I am probably a clone of my mother. Besides looking a like, I have sipped from her strength, power, elegance, and feistyness. ( Do not play, my mother looks and sounds sweet, be she can burn you without you realizing it at first) I've always been a mommas girl!

Well I think I am done with this post. I started it on the 12th of September, and it is now the 19th..lol..so sad.

My top 10 empowering songs for women..in no particular order

  1. you gotta be by Des'ree
  2. Independent Woman by Destiny's Child
  3. Miss Independent by Ne-yo
  4. Like this by Kelly Rowland
  5. R-E-S-P-E-C-T by Aretha Franklin
  6. Back up by Beyonce
  7. Superwoman by Alicia Keys
  8. I'm ever woman by Chaka Khan
  9. Independent by Webbie...( got to love this when I'm rolling on the 405)
  10. Survivor by Destiny's Child