Its 6:32 am

Why am I up at 6:32 am, well because I was hoping that my boyfriend would sign on skype, yahoo, or aim so we could...talk. The 16hr time difference doesn't make it all to easy to chat it up, but in the initial phases of our relationship, it would work out. Now I'm doing what I did during this past school year, staying up late or waking up super early, just to talk to him. I do it, because I care, if I didn't, I would go on about my business without a care in the world.
However, more often than not, he wouldn't be online at all. Grant it we both have busy schedules, but damn it, I'm making some personal sacrifices. I do it because I want to invest the time in our relationship, so I go out of my way...do things that aren't the most convenient for me. Yet I never get a warning or notice that he won't be available, so its like a guessing game.
Quiet frankly, I want to know exactly how he feels about this relationship, and where does he see it going, with him being 100% honest with me. Even if he sees it going nowhere, and isn't happy, I want him to tell me. Be blunt and honest, so I can know what my options are. If this isn't working for him, I'm a grown woman, and can handle that truth.
I honestly don't ask for much, and thats why I get mad as hell when I don't get what I ask for. Really how hard is it to let someone know you won't be available when we have all the technology in the world. How hard is it to just be real about how you feel about things, let me know if your done. You know I love keep sakes, how hard is it to send one damn keep sake, like damn, can't ish be balanced. I treat him how I want to be treated, and I sure don't feel like I'm being treated right.
I've tried to be understanding, but certain things bring my blood to a boil. I dislike wasting my love on someone that wont cherish it.
This add to my frustration. I swear people assume my life is perfect...they don't know the half of it....